30 going on 13.

June 28, 2006 Wednesday- My birthday!
I had a great day today! I couldn’t wish for any better off an internet chain email (send this to 10 people and your wish will come true). Short recap of the day. Breakfast in an Ocean Beach waterfront restaurant. Quick antiquing down the main drag. Bought the baby a really cute knit hat with trains on it (Dad would approve). Bought me some ninja shoes from a hippie store. Then we went on a shopping spree at a Motherhood store and practically bought a new wardrobe so I can get dressed for work without crying (hopefully). We went home for a sec and regrouped then off to Sears and Sleepyheads looking for a twin mattress for Mom in laws stay with us. Didn’t buy anything though. I actually showed restraint. Then we went home, showered, I put on my new prego dress illustrated in the above picture and we went to our favorite local Italian restaurant, Tiramisu. We had a fabulous meal and now I am sitting fat and happy tapping away to tell you all about it.

I am definitely "showing" now. Maternity clothes are good at making you look even more pregnant. Which I guess is better than just thick or worse, fat. I’m still at the stage where no stranger dare ask. And I almost feel the need to explain to strangers that I’m pregnant. Thankfully, I refrain. I felt good all day. Great energy, and mood. I am hoping to go to yoga in the morning and am hoping I will be back to my normal workout routine now. Maybe that’ll help level off my weight gain. It’s tough to excersize when all you want to do is barf and sleep and barf then eat then sleep some more. I swear I just turned 13 not 30.

Dutiful Husband

June 24th 2006 Saturday
I just poured a piping hot cup of decaf Joe and am contemplating the work that should be done today. I really need to clean the house and I should do it now before it gets hot and I get tired. Waaah. Keith is in there over sleeping and grumpily yelling at the dogs who are trying to get him up (probably by licking his back). He’ll complain later about how his head hurts because he overslept. We are due to hit Hash House A Go-Go (http://www.hashhouseagogo.com/) at 10am to catch up with some friends. We haven’t told them yet that I am pregnant. I don’t like saying, “We are pregnant,” I think that is most certainly false. Although Keith is a loving man, he really can’t know what it’s like and he’s not the one trudging through the afternoon in his cube, with a mouth full of warming saliva and a gut pressing up against his straining pants. So I am pregnant, and he is a dutiful observer. I think he would happily agree.

new floors, popping stomachs and mother in laws.

June 23rd 2006 Friday evening
We just finished installing the new faux wood floor in the baby’s room. I say we, but I mean mostly Keith. It looks pretty great! I think it’ll go well with our pirate-y theme.

Much to my dismay, my stomach has popped out. I’ve tried to suck it in, and hold my breath, giving myself pain and gas. That sucks. I think I’ll stop fighting reality and go with it. I judge myself and say I shouldn’t be showing yet, but who’s to say that? I think my experience is unique and I need to relish in each stage. I’m not going to be this small for long. And it’s undeniable that I am beginning to look pregnant in mid week 9. I should take a picture.

I have been emotional. Let’s say- from tearing up because I think everyone will forget my birthday, to laughing hysterically until I cry and gag over next to nothing. I am basically a raging PMSing 13 year old girl again. I want to sleep and sleep and I don’t want to exercise. Even though I know I need to. We have so much to do before Doris arrives (my mother in law will be staying with us for a month or so) and Keith (my hero) is working himself to the bone at his real job, side jobs and this house. I am learning to accept that we are not perfect and the house will have a life of it’s own. Although, I would kill for a house keeper right now.

First Doctor's Visit

June 19, 2006 Monday
We had our first Doctor’s visit this morning. Keith went with me. The medical building is bland and brown. There is a tiny little waiting room, crammed full of women, pregnant and otherwise. We sat on a loveseat while we waited for awhile, until some more pregnant women came in and there wasn’t enough seating. The wait was long. I was standing and Keith plopped on the floor next to the wall. The women next to me said she had been waiting for hours, so I went up to the grouchy woman hiding behind a tiny window which led to the back office and asked how far they were backed up. We had been there a half hour after our appointed time. She said I was next and shortly after a woman came and took us into a nice little corner office full of diplomas and baby announcements. The woman didn’t introduce herself; in fact she sat us and ran out. We sat there for a few minutes looking around at the native America art and sculptures that were in a cabinet behind us. Finally a nurse came and sat at the large oak desk in front of us and started to ask me questions while inputting my data into the computer. She told us a little background of her and her daughter and her awful cesarean birth experience. It’s then that we learned that the woman who sat us was the Doctor and she had ran over to Grossmont to birth a baby really quick and would be right back.

Our Doctor is a one women show, which explains the wait time. She will be the one at our birth and completing my appointments. She has similar philosophy on birth as I, and a kind and funny demeanor. I liked her. When she returned about 20 minutes after she left, she put me in an exam room and we saw a picture of the baby. S/he’s about 1/2 inch long from crown to rump and looks like Casper the friendly ghost. It’s finally more real now. I was kind of stunned, they just stick a magic wand inside you and wall-la! There’s your tiny peanut! It was fascinating. We got 3 little pictures of our child. No way to tell the sex yet of course. I have an appointment to go back in 4 weeks, July 17th.

Telling your Boss You're Pregnant

June 16, 2006 FRIDAY! Day 40- another week gone by.
My dreams have been hijacked by a baby for sure. I had dreams last night that I was at a festival like Oktoberfest and a friend from high school was pressuring me to have a beer, and at first it was like I forgot I was prego. Then I kind of exclaimed, “I can’t drink beer I’m pregnant!” My dreams are interwoven with baby concerns, almost every night now. Also, I do wake up every night to groggily visit the bathroom. But don’t have any trouble falling back asleep.

I told my boss that I’m pregnant. I know that’s a touchy subject and everyone has an opinion as to where and when you should do this. I took a chance on an opportunity regarding going part time immediately. (which isn’t going to work out) But we did hammer out how the whole thing will work for them and for me up until delivery and leave and when I will come back. When I do return it will be part time and I am starting to look around for infant care, which already brakes my heart. Keith and I are hoping a better way will pop up. We have a lot of time between now and then. It’s really great how much time you have to prepare yourself and your world before the baby really shows up.

Just The Facts

June 14, 2006 Wednesday Day 37 week 8
I feel pretty good. I’ve have been super tired. Took a nap in my car yesterday at lunch and fell asleep watching TV last night at about 9:30. My clothes are starting to get a little tight around the waist. I read that my uterus is now about the size of an orange. I’ll need to go clothes shopping soon, at least to buy a couple pairs of pants/skirts.

I am more and more excited about seeing our baby on Monday. I am really counting down the days/hours. I’ve never been so excited to go to a doctor. I just hope everything is going and growing well. Let’s see, what else, I am hungry all the time and concentrate on getting a good balance of foods, and I have to make a lot of trips to the restroom. I pretty much just drink water now. It’s easier and better for me. Besides all the fancy sodas are expensive and full of chemicals and calories. Not to say I don’t have one now and again...

New Car?!

June 11, 2006 8:45pm Day 34
WE BOUGHT A MOMMY MOBILE TODAY! We joined the rest of the kid toting parents and bought a 2003 Saturn Vue. It’s purdy. And Orange. I’m a little shocked and hope it was a good choice. I fully intend to use my right to trade in within 30 days if I don’t dig it tomorrow. I guess the first thing we bought for this little one is a car. Wow.

We went to go visit Dad. It was a quick, fun and relaxing trip. We went swimming and just hung out. Had a good time. Here’s a picture of me, acting like I’m showing.

Let Them Eat Cake!

June 10th 2006 Saturday 7:15am
We were invited to the neighbor's for dinner last night for a little celebration dinner. They have a baby, Isabella who is about 10 months old, so it was nice to be able to talk about our pregnancy with someone who knows. Blanca made us a cake! And set the table with china, we had some great food and fun conversation. Baby Blanca even screamed her opinion on the subject several times. It felt great to have a night that was created just to celebrate and welcome our little growing baby. I’m glad they felt comfortable being more than “cautiously optimistic”. I even bought a bottle on de-alcoholized wine for me so I could partake in the celebration, (Yes, I called my doctor and asked-It’s little more than grape juice).

Today we are driving up to Borrego Springs to see my Dad. We are going to stay the night and go swimming and golfing and play tennis, if I have the energy. I hope to have a great and relaxing weekend, not worrying or working. I better get packed.

Budda Belly

June 9, 2006 Friday 6:36am
Now, I’m not really worried about looking pregnant, I understand a little baby pirate has commandeered my vessel. That’s great! It’s the fatty, lack of shape, pre-looking pregnant, that I’m going through now. That thick in the middle, not showing- just bloated, maybe I ate too much all day feeling.

I always wanted to be one of those really fit pregnant ladies. You know what I’m talking about the woman who from behind you can’t tell they are even pregnant, and then the turn around and there’s this obscene looking growth beneath their breasts. But I’m not sure it’ll be that way for me. I’ve always had trouble with food and loving to eat. Now for the first time in my life, I am not supposed to diet. Did you hear that! It’s amazing news. I am so concerned about eating the right balance of soy and calcium, veggies and fruit, cheese and bread. I don’t know how to do that within 2000-2300 calories. It’s a new day, wish me luck.

Pirate Baby

June 9, 2006 Friday, 6:12 am
Day 32. I felt pretty normal all day yesterday. Work is picking up and it helps take my mind off things. I walked the dogs in the morning and went to yoga. I told my yoga instructor that I’m pregnant and she gave me a big hug. I hope to be very active in yoga through the whole pregnancy.

I’ve decided to do a fun Caribbean/Pirate theme in the baby’s room. I want to paint a large mural on one side of the room with sand, sea, sky and a pirate ship. I picture a palm tree with bananas and a treasure chest in the sand. I don’t think there will be any actual pirates, maybe a pirate flag somewhere. I think it’ll be bright, cute and a whole lot of fun. Now, I just need to ask the Doctor if I can paint and when. Of course I would like to do this asap. I will have to have Keith paint the room, because of the fumes. I have some research to do.
I love projects.

Coffee Bean

June 7, 2006 Wednesday 9:03pm

Day 30- We’re now in the second lunar month. Every day is more exciting. I wake up in the morning and think, “Hurray!” and run to my book to see what’s happening, like a Christmas countdown calendar (you know the kind, where you pull back the day and get a candy?).

Baby is now the size of a coffee bean, and will continue to double in size as the weeks pass.

I’ve been tired like I’ve never been tired before. I wonder if I tried to exercise more, if that would be help, or if I should rest.

We are slowly telling all of our friends. I still feel a little disbelief myself and worry that we’re going to find out something is wrong or we are mistaken. Logically, I realize how unlikely that is, and reassure myself that babies are born all them time. The odds are in our favor. knock on wood.

Car Sick

June 5th Monday 6:41pm

Back to work…I was nauseous all day, with heartburn and too much saliva. That’s fun. And so tired I could fall asleep at my desk. I weighed and measured myself today and was the same, whew! Actually an inch smaller than last time. That’s a relief. We have our first doctor’s visit 2 weeks from today. I am very excited to hear the heart beat and make sure everything is going as it should.

Today I had a craving for crunchy tacos, which I haven’t had in ages. I stopped by a taco stand by my work, ignoring the salad I brought from home, and indulged in some rolled tacos. They were better than you can imagine.

I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow. I have to go to a student retention seminar in Orange County with a bunch of big wigs. Do you think the carpool will stop to let me go pee every half hour?!

Hot Whale!

I don't have much news to report. The liver is forming today. I feel like a whale and am very afraid to weigh myself. I shouldn't even be showing yet. I'm surprised every time I put something on and it fits- tight-but still, fits.

It should be very hot today but not as hot as yesterday's 90 degrees. I may escape to a movie. Even alone. I've been working on the house nonstop, except for when I'm blogging. So I'm sick of work, and the weekend is almost over. *sigh* The rat race will kill us all.

Margaritas in babyland

June 3rd Saturday 8:45am

Baby is now .2 inches. Or 3-5mm. I have subtle stretching feelings of and on, reminiscent of cramping but not that bad. We have a funny feeling that we might have twins, but I’m sure that’s just a funny feeling. That would be crazy though.

We are going to my sis’s party tonight and I bought a really yummy margarita mix from William Sonoma so I can have yummy virgin margies. They should be called whore margaritas though, since it’s the pregnant woman who drink them.

I feel like my symptoms have actually begun to subside some. I had a major headache all day yesterday, but I don’t feel like I am running to the bathroom as much as in the beginning, although the books say as your uterus enlarges and raises out of your pelvic region, it sits more on your bladder. Makes you wonder, it’s strange how you can be so pregnant and hardly know it. I do admit, I’m a little weepy for almost nothing, even more so than before. Let’s see if I can get through today without crying…

Worry Warts

June2nd, FRIDAY! At 6:37am My Sis's Birthday!!
Happy Birthday Sis!
Today and last night I am having one of those, “What if I’m not really pregnant, and this is a cruel joke” thoughts. Those mutate into paranoid, “What if there is something wrong with my baby’s development” thoughts- and I don’t know which is worse. I read last night that after the 6th week, when the heart is beating the chance of a miscarriage goes down to 3%. And that if there is something wrong with the embryo, chances are your body will miscarry. So that makes me feel a little better. Still I find it cruel that the OB makes you wait until the 8th week to see her. So much can go wrong in that time, I guess the idea is, they want to wait until there’s really something to see, a fetus instead of an embryo. That makes sense to me. I love Fridays, and this weekend should be fun.

Insane Dreams of the Western Snoop Dog

It's JUNE 1st! Thursday 7:43am and day 24 of our adventure. (week 6)
I had crazy dreams last night. In an old western town striking deals with Snoop Dog with some friends at a saloon. Then I was being chased and jumping over stairwells running and grabbing onto a thick rope swinging fast until my body went tingly and numb, like it fell asleep. Woke up. Went back to sleep after turning on another fan, it’s hot in my room. Fell back into the same dream of stealing money from a coyboy and his showgirl, trying to sneak out the back and putting out large bowls of dusty water for my mangy dog. And the way this dream like many of my dreams ended, I was in a fancy powder room trying to pee. Which always wakes my up and send my running to the bathroom. So, now I am more tired than when I fell asleep. I have had vivid dreams like this all week. It’s exhausting.

So, to the business of the baby- Today little arm and leg buds should spontaneously appear. They should take great shape over the next 32 days, according to my book by A. Christine Harris Ph. D., “The Pregnancy Journal”. I’m not having any cravings really. Just trying to eat a lot of fruit and veggies to get in all the phytochemicals that I can. I am trying to let go of that old feeling that I shouldn’t gain weight- I better lose that feeling fast. Keith is being great and we are just happy and counting the days as they go by. I’m a little emotional, but hey- that’s not so new.