The Day After Christmas

12/26/07: It’s the day after Miles’ first Christmas. I think he had a blast. It was presents and more presents and eating and fun and parties and he just loved it. In fact last night was the first night (that I can remember) that he (and I!) actually slept all the way through the night! He fell asleep in the car on the way home from Ganny’s house and then stayed asleep when we arrived home. The first time he woke after I went to sleep was at about 5:30 am. When I rolled over to look at the clock I was amazed and so relieved! He nursed and we both fell immediately back to sleep until 7am. I don’t think I’ve slept more than 3 hours in a row in months. Try 11 months. So hopefully this will be a new thing. I love sleeping. I really do.

Today on the day after Christmas, we went to the beach in Coronado. It was beautiful, sunny and cool. Miles and I walked for a while (he was in the Ergo) and he slept. When he woke up we made our way back to plop in the sand and get good and dirty. Miles cawed at the Seagulls and gawked at the young surfers. Mostly he played in the sand, amazed that he couldn’t keep it in his grasp. If you’ve read this blog, then you know at times I get totally blissed out on this life and how amazing our world is. Today was one of those days. Miles and I are so lucky to have each other to explore the beach, the park, or the living room. I’m just so glad it gets to be me raising him and not a stranger.



After the beach we met Daddy for lunch and ordered Miles’ his very own meal. Grilled cheese Sandwich. He ate an entire half. Now we just need to work on getting those veggies and fruits on his menu. Right now he’s all about the bread and cheese.

I took a bazillion pictures of him on the beach so I’ll post a favorite or two.

Miles said "Ma ma"!

12/18/07:
Miles is 11 months old now. He is doing really well with eating “real” food now, crawling and babbling. In fact today he said “Mama” to me when I came to pick him up from the gym day care! I was so excited! It’s the first time he seemed to say it to me, instead of just babble. He never babbles mama unless it’s sad talk. This time he looked up at me and said “Ma ma!” We’ve been practicing it with him the last few days, really encouraging him to say words, so I’m not toooo surprised. But the thrill is the same nonetheless. Christmas is fast approaching. Miles got to open some presents the other night that some friends gave him. He had fun ripping the paper and playing with the boxes, just as we suspected. I can’t wait to see him on Christmas morning though! Family is supposed to come here at around 9am so we’ll have to finagle a nap in there some how. We are having a lean Christmas, meaning light on the presents, this year, but it was fun shopping, knowing whatever gift I got, needed to be good, since it’s all they’re getting.
Miles met Santa- He did very well considering he does have some stranger danger. You can see it on his face. He’s a little uncertain, but was somewhat reassured by all our antics trying to get him to smile. I’ll post the picture.

New beginings and new Challenges

Miles is giving me a run for my money with his new found abilities. I find I am really having to step up my game. He needs constant attention now in a completely different way. He wants me to play with him and help him stand and walk all the time. He is crawling and getting into everything he shouldn't (drawers, wires, etc) We need to be better babyproofers. But right now, I just redirect and redirect and distract and redirect. It's a little exhausting. Combined with the not sleeping thing. Miles is teething again and is having trouble sleeping. He wants to nurse ALL NIGHT long, which leaves me tired and sore. He was up from 11:30pm to 1am this morning before I got up and gave him some Motrin and turned on the humidifier. Poor guy, he is a trooper though. We spend the days playing and going through the routine, Up, change, eat, play, nap, up, change, eat, play (or go out) nap, Up, eat, bath, play, night time. Sound exciting to you? It's fun actually and we go out a lot, to play groups and shopping, errands, whatever. Today we are meeting a friend for lunch and then going to a sign language class. We need to go to the store too, and he's napping right now. He's been napping well, at least! We have yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the gym at 8- so that fits in nicely. We have a playgroup on Mondays and Tuesdays, there's a walking group, but it conflicts with my other activities. When he naps I do email, clean, craft, paint, or whatever.

It's the best life. It can be a little isolating, if you don't make an effort to get out. And I really wish I had some real friends that have babies or kids. I am working on it though. I just joined a new group that will hopefully have some more like minded mamas out there. Not that I need someone just like me, but the older Miles gets the more I feel like a black sheep in my group and I think it's important to find some people who support, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, green cleaning, organic, etc...

Cute ticker

10 Months old and on the go!

11/15/07

Miles is 10 months old today! He has been eating- He will really only eat sweet potato and chicken jar baby food. Not my homemade stuff. So he's been not eating as much since I ran out- Need to go get more. He also had a very severe diaper rash (triple paste works the best- by the way) That was bloody and raw- so we held off on anything too flavorful for a few days.

AND he is starting to FINALLY crawl! He really gets around. It's a combo of shuffling on his butt- then dropping and rolling and dragging himself. Every once and a while he will get on all fours and rock- which is how he is "supposed to" learn. But mostly he is paving his own road to freedom. So he is officially into everything he can get his hands on. He’ll find the smallest piece of whatever on the floor and pick it up and inspect it. I have my work cut out for me. In a way it's easier because he's more independent, and in a way it's harder, because he's more independent.

But now that he’s getting around. Since his sudden new freedom, it’s like he can’t stop. He has had trouble napping/sleeping. It’s like he’s a wind up toy that won’t wind down. He lays facing me and latches on then twists his bottom half so his knees are down on the bed and hoists his booty into the air and tries to nurse and crawl at the same time. I’m like, “Hey there buddy, can’t take it with you.” It takes him twice as long to fall asleep, even when he’s sooooo tired, than it did a week ago. While he gets all this exercise, I am getting exercise in patience. Here's a picture of my new painting of him.

Where did October go?

11/5/07:
October was a whirlwind of craziness. Between having mastitis, Keith being sick and then our world catching on fire-then party, party, party for Halloween…Whew! I’m glad that month is over. Miles had a great time at the pumpkin patch, riding the huge pumpkins. He had the opportunity to wear his dragon costume several times to various parties and activities. He always steals the show with his good nature and laughing smile.


On a personal note, some friends found a huge, beautiful, old, painting easel in an alley by some dumpsters and nabbed it for me! We are busy making a place for this gorgeous piece of furniture. I can’t wait to initiate it into my studio. Oh, I have that painting itch for sure now! What a sign!

New Discoveries

9/26/07:
Keith came home last weekend and we tried to cram as much fun in as we possibly could. We hit up a cloth diaper garage sale- and I got the fuzzy bunz of my dreams for cheap! Now cloth diapering is finally (almost) easy! We also hit up the Stone brewery for a little lunch and a tour…and then over to the Carousel at Sea Port Village. Miles shook with excitement for the entire ride. I started him on a horse that didn’t move, but then upgraded him to a horse that moved up and down. It’s hard to express his reaction- he wasn’t laughing or smiling really, he seemed more amazed. His entire body would shake and he would exclaim, “Booh! Baah!” periodically. These were noises I hadn’t heard before- so clearly he was reaching deep to express himself.

It’s so fun to watch him have a new experience. Whether it’s the merry go round, or the Koi fish pond- we always have a great time exploring this new world.

Bliss

9/18/07:
There are some amazing days where I get caught up in the moment, forget about all time and just relish in my life. I feel my soul swell and overflow with such pure happiness it overwhelms me. Sitting in the grass in front of the La Jolla Community center- on a whim- no-where to be. We plop down and feel the grass against our skin. Miles pushes his feet into the grass, wiggling toes searching for the underlying dirt. There’s a voyeur seagull at a safe distance- waiting for us to break out something edible. And we do, but it’s for Miles only. I pull him close to me, his hand floats up and gently touches my nose and mouth, before clawing open my lips to play with my teeth. He sucks hungrily and happily, talking with his mouth full and smiling a drippy milk smile. We linger in the shade for a while until, full of milk, Miles eyes get heavy and he rubs his face with the back of his hand, yearning for a little mid-day nap.

Zerberts and kisses

We had a good weekend, went to the park, etc...had picnics by the bay, the usual. We had a great day yesterday. I put him in the gym daycare for an hour for the first time while I went and did yoga. From what I can tell he barely noticed I was gone and was very entertained by the other kids. So I bought a daycare pass and will try to make yoga 2 times a week during the day and then once on Saturday when his dad can watch him. I think this will make a huge difference in my practice and life, so I'm thrilled.
Then we went to the playgroup in the park, and then the zoo. We had a busy, tiring day. Miles had some trouble in the afternoon because we missed a nap then he went to bed at 5:30 and then woke up at 6:30 so I had to walk him around the block at about 7:30 just to make myself sane. He was making this low groaning/whining noise consistently. After awhile that really is grating.

But just the same, we had a good day. I just had to put aside myself last night and think, there's nothing more important than this. Then this morning I sat him up in bed while I lied there on my back and he would bend over and kiss (big wet open mouthed kisses with both hands on either side of his face) my stomach. So cute! I think he may have been trying to give me zerberts, like I do to him. Love it!

Pimp My Car Seat

9-8-07:
Miles has graduated to the next level of car seat. He is still rear facing but he’s getting too tall for his little infant carrier. It was quite a task to decide on what kind of new car seat to buy. Of course we did the obligatory Consumer’s Report search and then the online price check- but in the end it was off to Babies R Us with Grandma to really kick the tires of these restraining devices. They range vastly- from the basic model, to bling cup holders and toy pockets, with extra stuffing and armrests. I’m really surprised there wasn’t one with a built in satellite and DVD player. So surprisingly, the least expensive and most -say- streamlined one, is the best reviewed on Consumer Reports. But of course I got all caught up in the cushy…”But Mom, this one has memory foam! How comfy!” In the end I went with the one we knew was the safest (and least expensive). Let’s just hope that it wasn’t painted with lead in China or something.

Mr Wild

8/29/07:
I met a good friend, Stacy, for lunch today. It’s little things like meeting friends for lunch or wandering around Borders mid day that really make me relish this life.

Miles is way more interactive than he used to be and is becoming quite the talker. While in Borders I am trying to browse the Yoga and Eastern Religion books and Miles has decided this would be a great time to have a very loud conversation with his stuffed Mr. Wild. He was very intent, focused and consistent in his discussion. Of course Miles is usually my silent partner, so it’s amusing that he has chosen this location to express himself. As I looked at books on how to “live in the moment”, I find myself trying to decide if this self-expression is appropriate or if I should encourage him to use his “inside voice”. How young is too young for that? In the end I took him out of his stroller and put him in his front carrier and wore him around. He likes to suck on the shoulder strap and it’s hard to talk with your mouth full.

Almost 7 months old.

8/09/07: Miles and I have a good Rhythm (as Erin would say) We don’t follow any strict schedules, but there is a predictability to the beginning and end of our days at this point. We are always on the go during the middle of the day. I am becoming more active in a Attachment Parenting supportive community- which is doing wonders for my moral. I love the fact there are other mamas like me out there, co-sleeping, breast feeding, and baby wearing. I’ve even switched over to cloth diapers and you can catch me on any given day wearing Miles on my back and hanging cloth diapers out to dry on the clothes line. It’s kinda weird and amazingly wonderful. Miles is the happiest of babies. He is sitting up now and is delighted by his new ability. He loves to grab, bang, tear up, and toss all things within reach. We still practice eating during the day, but most his nutrition still comes from mama’s milk. He is very happy with that.


I have been showing paintings at The Art Institute regularly and am enjoying this new found artist career. I have also recently joined the Foothills Art Assoc. and will be sharing some gallery space there as well. Now, if I could only find time to paint! I have been spending too much time on the mom forums online, I can tell because my butt hurts from sitting in this chair! Oh well- at least I’m not so isolated. I will include some cutie pie pictures so you can see how amazing my son is (if I do say so myself).

Breastfeeding week

Miles and I attended an International Simultaneous Breast Feeding event at a local park recently. It was pretty amazing being with all these other moms and their children just sitting in the grass waiting to hear someone call out, “Latch on!” This event was in support of National Breastfeeding week, and will hopefully help create an atmosphere of acceptance of breastfeeding Moms and their children. Miles wore the “Mother Sucker’ shirt that Shelly and Gary made for him and was a HUGE hit. I’m telling you, they could make some money off those onsies.



Feel free to click on this link to find out more information on the new breastfeeding symbol.

Insecurities of a new Mommy

Miles is 4 1/2 months old. I am good-well, kinda- I am going thru something where I need to constantly remind myself to calm down and change my thinking. I've been a little self critical. If I read the baby books I start to question my parenting style. Do I have a good enough routine? is he napping enough and well enough? Am I consistant enough. And then there's the whole time for me thing. There is no time for me. If I do have a moment, I need to put laundry away or load/unload the dishwasher, straighten the house. I have all these half finished projects (which goes against my nature and makes me crazy). I'm not sure what I can do to help myself. I have been practicing yoga almost every day- which I love. Miles will lay on the floor and do his tummy time with me. We hang out and go to mommy and me yoga, the library and the mall just to wander around. I guess I wish I could just get the house in some kind of order that made sense- it's never ending.

Miles is constantly changing- growing and learning. He is a true joy. I just need to remember to follow my instincts and let go of the unimportant, and all will be well.

Keith is working on the deck every day after work too- so we both don't get a brake from work until after dark-and in my brakes I tend to work. anyway- Such is life.

Miles is wonderful though, so much fun and a joy to be around. He smiles all the time and laughs out loud. He can roll from his tummy to his back. but not the other way around. And he has his two bottom teeth!- oh- he's awake from his nap- gotta run.

Almost 3 months old

4/6/07: Life with Miles is beginning to really jive. We are getting to know each other more and more. I take him along everywhere we or I go. We have been to Cedros, La Jolla, The zoo (twice!), Palm Springs, The Museum, Gallery Openings, cocktail parties and many restaurants. He is a trooper, very mellow, loves to be in his Baby Bjorn, worn be me or Daddy.

We are co-sleeping in the master bedroom. Which works well when the dogs don’t bark, and Keith doesn’t snore, and Miles doesn’t start his nightly running man routine. I guess what I’m trying to say is, we still don’t sleep well. But I love co-sleeping. It makes nursing so much easier, and snuggling with the family is priceless.



Miles will be 12 weeks on Easter Sunday. 3 months on the 15th of April. He is already wearing 6 month baby clothes. He is starting to like his bath time, especially if we do it in the sink. He says “ahgoo, ahgaah” and is focusing hard on starting other noises too. Miles loves the morning time and grins for no reason. He is starting to love his toys and now when he is upset we can distract him with a toy for a while (instead of walking r bouncing him) which is really helpful, especially for Keith. He is finding his fists in his mouth and is just starting to learn to self sooth. He is also sleeping more in his swing for nap time, so I can get stuff like this done.



Anyway, we are loving life with Miles! Everyday he shows more of his little personality and is even starting to laugh now and again. I think the best is yet to come, and every day I wake up (for the 18th time) and think, “What new adventure are we going to have today?”

Time? Sleep? What's that?!

3/16/07: I have a really hard time trying to find time to write. Miles is a little high needs still. I can’t put him down for more than a few minutes at a time, and that’s in the morning. In the afternoon, he demands full contact all the time. My life is so completely different now. It’s truly amazing how much I love him and am willing to do for him. Nature is fascinating that way.

Miles had his 2 month doctor’s visit yesterday and is now 10 pounds 11 ounces. And 23 1/4 inches tall. He is growing so fast! I wish I had more time to write. Maybe in the future. I am including a entry I wrote but never posted. See below. (I tried to upload photos, but the site won't let me for some reason.)

2/19/07; Miles and I pal around pretty well now. He dictates what we can do and for how long, but I instigate the activities. Like right now, I have him in the baby bjorn front pack, but he is getting kinda grunty, so I may have to cut this short. It’s raining outside, so, to me that means, time to bake! Miles and I made some blueberry muffins from scratch with some blueberries that were dying to be eaten. Hopefully the antioxidants will make up for the sugar and butter. Right.

We are still cosleeping in the nursery- but yesterday we went up to USA baby and bought a “co-sleeper”. It is like a bassinet that is missing one side and attaches to the parents bed. I am hoping that I can transition him into the master bedroom and move him from my bed into the co-sleeper…I have to go feed Miles, will write more later.

Life with Miles

2/6/07- Tuesday
Miles was born on 1/15/07. He was 7 pounds 11 ounces and 21 inches long. He has already grown so much. Currently, he is 3 weeks and one day old. It’s taken me some time to be able to sit down and write anything-let alone shower do laundry, make dinner or call friends. I have been totally devoted to Miles care. For the most part it looks like this, picture a loop: Breast feed from one boob for about a half an hour. Then burp for a few minutes and maybe a diaper change is needed. Switch to the other side for more nursing. Burp some more. Settle any crying or play with Miles if he is “quiet alert” (meaning very alert but still, absorbing all around him) We play for about a half hour. Then I carry him around, either in my arms or in a sling or front pack while I clean up, throw some laundry in, make coffee- eat a yogurt, email friends, whatever. He usually falls asleep for a little while and if I’m lucky I can put him down in one of his many baby seats and hop in the shower and change into clothes that aren’t all stained with breast milk. After that it’s time to feed him again- after the second feeding of the day it’s prime time to leave the house if I need to. Take a walk or run to the store. He’s usually in a good mood in mid mornings. Once we get home, it’s back to the same pattern. At night, Keith usually takes him for a little while for some Daddy time while I finish up any projects I may have started during the day and make some dinner.

So- not real exciting. Very rewarding though. It’ll be more so when Miles is more interactive. Right now he only cries and grunts. He is making eye or at least face contact more and more- and some little “ah” sounds are starting to surface. Which is wonderful and fun. I feel like everyday he has grown up more and can do a little something new. Currently it seems he wants to eat every hour. I think he is going through a growth spurt. I have been feeding him on demand- but do try to make sure he is really hungry before I just whip it out.

I wanted to write about the birth and the past few weeks but there hasn’t been time. Hopefully future entries will be more entertaining and less factoid.

Waiting and waiting.

1/5/07- Waiting game.
Well, the full moon came and went and we are still pregnant. I feel like I am expecting company but I have no idea when they are supposed to arrive. I am keeping the house clean and ready and the nursery is heavy with anticipation. Today I put together the pack and play and put out even more baby monitors. The house is conspicuously missing a baby. If someone came in and didn’t know I was pregnant they would think we were crazy. We are very ready.

I have suggested that Keith go golfing this weekend (if Miles is still in hiding) since we don’t know when he will have the time or money to go again. Tonight he is out with a friend, having a beer and playing bar games, under strict orders not to get drunk just in case I happen to go into labor and need him called home at a moments notice. I worry needlessly. (I hope).

We have rearranged the master bedroom to make room for the bassinet and rearranged the office so it’s not horrible to be in here. I did a prego painting of myself. Very droopy and curvy. Not very flattering, but very true to how I feel I look. I sit around and picture myself skipping and jumping and touching my toes. I can’t wait. It’s hard for me now to feel like I will ever be any different. Forever with a huge, hard, swollen belly. I long for “normal” clothes. Meanwhile, I spend time wondering how Miles could ever possible wear all the clothes he has. I’m sure we’ll figure it out. I have always felt like I am in a perpetual state of laundry, why do I have a feeling that that that wasn’t nothin’?