Birth Story

12/14/10: Well, Ivy will be 4 weeks tomorrow if you can believe it! I want to write my birth story before it’s a distant memory.

We were induced at UCSD starting on the 16th (Ivy’s due date). I was on the Labor and Delivery floor instead of in the birth center but I still had natural friendly nurses and was with the Midwives.

They started the pitocin around 5pm. Keith and I kicked back, listened to some jazz, and played Yahtzee until the surges became more noticeable. I called in our doula, Care Messer at about 6pm because I really expected things to go quickly. They didn’t. At least not as quick as I expected when I expected. We all just sat around talking until about 10pm when Keith decided to take a nap. Care and I talked and I listened to my hypnobirthing scripts off and on. Care massaged my feet and walked me through the surges as they got stronger. I was mostly on the birthing ball through the whole labor. I would walk a little just to mix it up. Whenever I decided to get into bed the surges were way more intense so I decided early on to stay off my back. This went on until about 4am when I decided it was time to wake up Keith. I was afraid he would miss the whole thing. I was having more intense surges and Care was talking me through them, helping me to stay as relaxed as possible and she told me to try “shhhhing” through the hard parts. I kept sobbing and shhhing through the surges. Around this time I was kind of moaning/screaming and Care was trying to keep my pitch low and relaxed.

The midwife finally came in at about 5am and checked me. I was really disappointed to learn I was only 7 cm dilated but 100% effaced. They asked if I wanted them to break my water and I said yes, given I was still worried the water would break and the cord would slip out. So, they broke my water.

Afterward, I got up and went to the bathroom, the surges were right on top on on another and I was having trouble standing and walking. I was almost back to the birthing ball when I had a surge and tried to lean on Care. I was afraid I was leaning too hard on her and she asked Keith if he wanted to step in. I was leaning on Keith, dance partner style and I started to feel Ivy’s head. I was screaming that she was coming and screaming for help. Care and Keith were trying to get me to the ball but I yelled I couldn’t sit down. Care reached down and felt Ivy’s head and yelled, “She’s crowing!” the nurse ran out of the room to bring the midwife back. I heard later the midwife didn’t believe Ivy was ready and said she was going to make a note in the chart and be right there- but then she heard me screaming and decided to come and check. I think they basically dragged me to the bed where I collapsed sideways. Half on, half off the bed the midwives and nurses held my legs and told me to push. I pushed once and Ivy’s head popped out. One more push and she was all the way out and immediately on my chest. It was 5:14am. She was 9 pounds 10 ounces and 22 inches long.

We waited for the cord to stop pulsing and Keith cut it. Ivy immediately latched on and nursed for about 45 minutes. Her blood sugar was low so they wanted to supplement with formula but I convinced them to wait and check it again after she nursed. She was fine. I was able to hold her for a couple hours before they took her to weigh her and poke her some more. She had a few tests and we were at the hospital for 3 days waiting on test results and waiting for her weight to come back up. We had to jump through a lot of hoops to prove I could feed her. They would weigh her naked, have me nurse and then weigh her immediately after. They had me pump and then nurse her while syringing the expressed milk into her mouth so they could see she was getting it. She was gaining slowly so after we made a next day Doctor appointment to check her weight and they finally agreed to let us take her home.

She’s been awesome ever since. Growing fast. Nursing constantly. Sleeping well. She’s a pretty mellow baby, I think. Not that it’s not a ton more work. Having two is crazy harder than one. There’s rarely a moment that I’m not needed, that no one is on me or needed me for something. But there’s so much joy that it’s all worth it.


We’ve been out and about pretty much immediately, but it’s getting even easier to get around. Today we took our first hike with Ivy and Miles in Mission Trails. it was a beautiful December day in the 70s and clear. Miles did great and it was wonderful to see him back in nature and so in his element. Ivy did great in the Ergo baby carrier/front pack. She basically slept and/or nursed through the whole hike. I’m so looking forward to more adventures with the both of them as Ivy becomes more aware of her surroundings and her awesome little personality begins to really shine.

Best Start Birth Center vs. UCSD Medical Center- My Experience

11/12/10: Although Ivy has yet to be born, I want to write a little about my experience with Best Start Birth Center in San Diego verses UCSD Birth Center and Medical Center.

I switched from UCSD Midwives to Best Start because I was woo’d by the Bed and Breakfast, boutique feel of Best Start. Also, I really wanted the opportunity to labor and deliver in water and Best Start has beautiful tubs for water birth.

When I first visited Best Start I was told not to worry about money or insurance. That turned out to not be true- kind of. My 3rd visit there I was handed a bill for “pre-payment” of the birth. They had called my insurance and discovered we have a deductible and wanted me to pay it up front to the sum of approximately $2400.00. I had to make many stressful phone calls to my insurance, to Bonnie in billing at Best Start, and to my husband’s work to get it all straightened out. I was really uncomfortable with paying for services not yet rendered. In the end I didn’t make any payments. Thankfully.




I had a couple visits with Midwife Ruth, who is all business. She comes in, seems nervous, measures you and listens to the heartbeat without any conversation and fuss and is out of the room before you can think of your questions. Visits with Ruth were under 15 minutes from the time you walked in the front door.

Then I saw Susan, the head Midwife. She is very motherly and always has a big smile on her face. She seemed to be the most relaxed and confident midwife I met with. Unfortunately, she was the one monitoring my blood glucose levels and she knows next to nothing about diet and carbs. At one visit she saw an elevated value on my sheet and saw I had a cup of chili with cheese and sour cream. She commented that cheese and sour cream would elevate my blood sugar when actually, those things are virtually carb free and I’m sure it was the beans in the chili that elevated my blood sugar. I also had been faxing my blood values to her once a week for several weeks and never heard a word about them until I was about 37 weeks. Then suddenly, I was scrutinized and calculated every time I walked in the door. They were suddenly very concerned about my values being abnormal, although I was completely in their own range of normal. They had a very punitive and negative attitude about it. Very black and white. I would explain why a fasting value was inaccurate and they would count it anyway. It made no sense. They also suddenly changed the values by which I should be testing against from 130 an hour after a meal to 120. They enlisted a new dietitian midwife who seemed to understand things, but I only had a phone interview with her- and she apparently didn’t note our conversation because when I went back in for my appointment I would get the same scrutiny with the calculator from a midwife who wasn’t trained in this area…It was the classic case of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing and it put me on the defensive at each stressful appointment.

Then I met midwife Brook. She was very conservative and negative. She would make comments about how “this is exactly what we don’t want to see” when reviewing my ultrasound- before she knew that it was all within normal. It was as if they were searching for a reason to risk me out. She told me the head to tummy ratio was borderline and my amniotic fluid levels were too high. She said my baby was 8 pounds and she thought a “big baby was better born early” and offered to “stimulate my cervix” which I had to ask, actually meant she wanted to strip my membranes at the beginning of 38 weeks. I almost let her but we managed to walk out of there intact. Scared, but intact.

My next appointment was with midwife Ashley. She is really sweet and informative but unfortunately just as scared and uncomfortable with Gestational Diabetes as the rest of the midwives were. She told me that my amniotic fluid was potentially at dangerous levels and if my water broke that the cord could slip out with the fluid resulting in a prolapsed cord. She told me this and then sent me home telling me she was going to do a phone consult with an OB at UCSD to see what the protocol was for something like that. She said the earliest she would call me was the next afternoon. Needless to say, I went home thinking that at any minute my baby was going to die because of too much fluid. I was paranoid that my water would break and I would have to call 911.

After a long and very sleepless night my husband and I decided to go pull our records from Best Start and go back to UCSD where I wouldn’t be such an anomaly. When I called Ashley the next day to give her a heads up we were coming, she was very concerned and sweet and felt bad that I had worried, etc. She told me the Doctors at UCSD would want to induce me at 39 weeks because of the gestational diabetes. So, I worried about that needlessly until I finally met with the OBs at UCSD.



The staff at UCSD are experts in all births and pregnancy not just the “perfect” ones. It turns out that my amniotic fluid is on the high end of normal, and not a concern at all to UCSD. According to UCSD I am controlling my glucose levels well, with diet alone. According to UCSD, no one really looks at the ratio of head to shoulder anymore as it proves not to make a difference in studies. All my abnormalities at Best Start were perfectly normal at UCSD. In fact, the OB told me as of that visit there was no reason I shouldn’t be seeing the midwives at UCSD if I wanted to. AND they wouldn’t induce me until 41 weeks (not 39) because everything was going well. Wow. What a difference.

I finally didn’t feel like I needed to prove myself or be risked out last minute. We had another ultrasound today to see Ivy’s size and she is big. Somewhere around 9 pounds is their guess. So ultimately I may be with an OB and not a midwife. But as long as I’m in the capable hands of UCSD staff, I know I’ll be fine. They are confident, secure, relaxed, medical professionals and I know they will also honor my wishes for a natural birth as much as is safe and possible. I haven’t met anyone at UCSD that I was uncomfortable with yet.

So, I’m glad I switched to Best Start and back, because had I not, I would have always wondered if I was just too chicken to have a “home birth” experience. But I am so relieved and happy to be birthing at UCSD.

I’m now 39.5 weeks. I’ll be 40 weeks on Tuesday November 16th. I have another midwife appointment on Tuesday, so we’ll see what the verdict is on induction vs. waiting and birth center vs. labor and delivery. At this point I am totally open to whatever comes. I know I can make any environment a safe and comfortable one since I am armed with Hypnobirthing skills and knowledge of what I want and don’t want. If things become medically necessary, then I can re-evaluate my situation as it occurs.

It’s all been a big lesson in living in the moment and not wasting my worry on things that have not yet happened.

I’m super excited to finally have Ivy in my arms and I know it’s going to be soon- maybe tonight? But definitely before Thanksgiving. I’ll be thankful to not be pregnant any more! I can’t wait until all this seems like a meaningless blip in a long journey to a healthy baby and welcome addition to our family.

I included a sweet picture from last night of Miles roasting marshmallows in our backyard. We are so lucky to have such a sweet and loving boy.

Remembering to Breathe

11/1/10: I haven’t been getting very good quality sleep- and not much of it- so I may be a little more short tempered than normal. Today Miles wasn’t listening to me (probably from his own lack of sleep due to Halloween festivities) and I raised my voice and acted frustrated with him. He responded by saying, “Why are you so mad today? You need to take a deep breath like this…” he breathes deep. “Like the “Angry Octopus.””

I stopped and looked at him and said you’re right, and took a deep breath. He seemed so proud of himself. I told him I was sorry for being short tempered but that I wasn’t sleeping well (being 38 weeks pregnant and all). I also told him he could help me by listening the first time I asked him to do something. So we made a deal.

I was so proud of him for reminding me to breathe. I can't believe that came from a 3 year old. I’m so glad the “Angry Octopus” story has helped him recognize and deal with anger in such a positive way too. Although, I like to think I have something to do with his thoughtful attitude. It was seriously a day changer for me.

35 Weeks and counting

10/9/10: We are getting closer to the big day when we invite Ivy into the family and introduce her to the world. Miles is so ready for a little sister, even pointing out cute babies when we are out and about.

When we go to sleep at night Miles will snuggle with my tummy saying, “I need Ivy.” He makes her a part of just about everything. He announces to cashiers, people at the park and just about anyone that he “Has an Ivy.” Or That “Mommy has an Ivy in her tummy.” I always have to come in and explain what he’s talking about.

We are not quite as ready as Miles is. We still need to pack a bag, (I’m about 35 weeks now) put the car seat in the car, get all her gear set up and gather all our loaned out carriers, etc. Keith’s travel schedule has been tougher than we expected for this late in the pregnancy, and I’m just getting over a cold. So hopefully after next week things will be a bit smoother and I’ll have a little more help getting ready

The baby shower is tomorrow and I’m so excited to see everyone. Some people attending I will have barely seen through this pregnancy. My friend Jenny is hosting at my Mom’s house with a lot of help from all my other good friends and family. I’m sure it’s going to be gorgeous.

Life These Days

I wish I updated more these days but life is hectic with a 3.5 year old. Seems much of the downtime I do I either spend resting or crocheting- which is really just productive resting.

I did find time to complete a new painting of Miles this week. I was really getting the itch so I chunked out some time for me. I was inspired to try something more whimsical- which I have a little trouble with, but thought I'd give it a try. Here's what I came up with.


Miles is an amazing story teller. He has a very vivid imagination and often incorporates outer space in his stories. He loves rockets, robots and fire balls. He knows the names of the planets and even some of the colors of the plants. He has an uncanny sense of direction and will tell me where to turn even when 5 miles or more from our home. There's no tricking him anymore and driving until he falls asleep because he'll keep telling me I'm lost.

He's very excited to be a big brother. He tells everyone he meets that his Mommy has an "Ivy" in her tummy. He greets her the morning and several times throughout the day, kisses my stomach as if she is already here. He talks to her and sometimes even talks for her. Which is to-die-for cute. He's also very tolerant of me these days with my slow movement, low energy and back pain complaints. He amazes me with his adaptability.

Keith and I are taking Hypnobirthing classes with Care Messer in preparation for Ivy's arrival. To learn more about it you can go here: http://sandiegohypnobirth.com/hypnobirth.html The classes just started but so far I am excited by the prospect of a "Pure Birth". I am very optimistic that this pregnancy, labor and delivery will be very different than the last. Although I suppose that's pretty much guaranteed whether I want it or not. I'm preparing this time. Pretty exciting.

Ivy makes an appearance

6/23/10: It’s time I write a little bit bout this pregnancy-#2! I re-read some of this blog- the early days of pregnancy with Miles and I was so glad I documented it since I remember zilch.

I’m about 19-20 weeks already! Half way to the finish line! We had out big ultrasound today and discovered we are having a little girl. She was very active and quite cooperative today so we got a ton of great pictures of her and we just watched in awe as our ultrasound tech tried to capture each heart valve and measured each long femur. She doesn’t look like Miles did at his ultrasound- as much as you can say that with a fuzzy, blurry black and white photo that looks slightly skeletal.

So a quick catch up of this pregnancy so far. I had some morning sickness this go around that I didn’t have with Miles. I was dead tired for about a month and a half, but now I’m mostly back to my old self- energy wise. I have the usual complaints of interrupted sleep and achy hips and back but I really can’t complain. I’m hopeful that I can avoid some of the medical intervention that was required with Miles. Like, no hospitalization, medication or bed-rest please! I’ve been trying to keep up an exercise routine, well, at least a little, and I’m trying to keep my weight gain under control with mixed success. It could be worse.

I have started to feel Ivy move around, but only sometimes. Not consistently. Oh, yeah, we like “Ivy” for a first name so now we can try it out. Not set on a middle name yet, but leaning toward Caleah.

Miles is very excited about being a big brother and talks about it all the time. He kisses my tummy often during the day and before night and talks about the baby putting things she shouldn’t in her mouth. He’s already tattle telling! The other day he told me the baby would travel down my leg and come out my foot. Although, if you ask him seriously where the baby will come out he points to my crotch- so he has enough of an idea. We have many books that explain the whole pregnancy/birth process in detail that he can understand.

So I’m looking forward to moving smoothly along with this pregnancy and trying to keep a calm uterus, as opposed to an irritable one (like last time)!

Chicken Crazy

For Mother's day Miles and Keith got me 3 chicks. We have been having a lot of fun with them, but they are getting big fast and need a coop! So we have been spending all our free time and more money than we have trying to get a gorgeous coop together in the backyard. We moved our gazebo to the deck (where it's getting much more use) and we have started construction.


While we were painting Miles kept saying, "Everyone is going to love this! Daddy will be so happy!" His enthusiasm is infectious.

Miles has been involved from day one. He helped me pick the chicks, he has been helping with the construction. He is getting to be such a very grown up boy!
The coop is still unfinished of course, but we are making progress however slowly.

San Diego Wild Animal Park

4/24/10: We went to the Wild Animal Park today. The butterfly exhibit is still on and was more amazing than I anticipated. It felt a little magical. Miles loved it. My sister took this amazing picture.

Miles is talking up a storm. He loves to tell stories about the adventures of Miles and Scooby Doo. Miles loves Scooby. He’ll start by asking me to “read” him a Scooby story but after a few sentences he takes over, talking fast and very animated, usually ending with Scooby and Miles in a Rocketship going through a meteor shower. It’s wonderful. He also draws rockets over and over. He’s still rocket/space obsessed.

Spring Planting and Weaning

3/22/10: We are getting ready for Spring!

We have completed our paper pots, planted seeds and watered every day. Now we are finally seeing some results! Most of the seeds have sprouted so it’s time to get their permanent home ready. I bought some worm castings and some organic planting mix to till into the planter box. I also admired my friend’s amazing results after she put in a soaker hose last year, so this year I am copying her. I just planted the soaker hose today. The seeds aren’t quite ready to go in the ground yet, but soon. The artichoke in this picture is from one of the four artichoke plants in my front yard.



This year we have basil, red leaf lettuce, green leaf lettuce (I know it’s late for lettuce in SD, but I had to try), big and little tomatoes, garden beans, carrots, pumpkins and decorative birdhouse gourds. I think that’s it. Hopefully we’ll at least get some tomatoes! We did pumpkins 2 years ago and it was awesome. I really regretted not doing it last year.



I didn’t post the following post because I didn’t feel like it. But I will now. I think it’s important to do what’s right for your child and your family, without regard to what other people think. It’s not their child, right? Miles nursed for a few minutes this morning although I’m pretty sure I don’t have any milk anymore. He nurses about once every couple weeks for a few minutes. Sometimes I tell him no and sometimes I let him. When people ask, I say I just weaned him. Which to me, is true, considering every time he nurses I’m pretty sure it’s the last time. Ah well, he won't be my baby for much longer and I’m sucking every last minute out of it. Excuse the pun. Here’s the post…


2/24/10:
So- I let him nurse this morning. Not that I plan on going back to an every day thing, and I did restrict him- once he started to play he was done. I do get tremendous pressure to wean from family, etc...But I also feel so torn, cause it's 3 weeks later and he STILL asks for it every day. I feel so bad that I didn't let him wean himself. So now- on occasion, if I want to, I'm going to let him nurse. I guess it's a step back, but I feel like it's the right thing to do. And I'm hoping maybe he just never asks for it again. I must say- we've had the most pleasant morning ever this morning. He helped me make breakfast, keeps telling me how much he loves me, helped me with dishes, got dressed without a fight, let me brush his hair and cut his bangs, and brush his teeth for a long time. It's been awesome. Now he's letting me write you all this crap! I just feel like it was a right decision. Maybe things just aren't as black and white as I thought with weaning. I guess it's a longer process. Which really makes sense considering he's nursed his whole life. It's a huge transition.

The other thing I'm dong is being more restrictive of sweets and TV time. Which is necessary and good, and has positive results.

Miles goes to Pre-School

2/19/10: Miles started a pre-school class the second week of February. It’s more of a play school. It’s a kind of a Reggio Emilia approach to pre-school that is play/creative based learning. And best of all, we can almost afford it!

So he goes to school now 5 hours a week. Whoo hoo! I get to go to the gym and run all the errands that Miles doesn’t exactly enjoy. He gets to socialize and figure out who he is without his mommy right there! He likes it, I like it. We’ve never had any real tears although he does ask me to stay with him. And after the first class he asked if I was mad at him. Yikes! He didn’t quite get why I was leaving him there. But already he is interested in what time it is, how to spell his name and he has muttered some interesting phrases that Keith and I don’t know where he picked them up, if not pre-school.



Today, for example; Me: “Miles you need to wear a jacket.” Miles, “Jacket?! Count me out!” Whaaaa?!! I don’t know where he got that. Then today, I’m reading a book called “Stuff White People Like”, by Christian Lander and Miles says, “Mommy, Don’t call me Whitey…” Again. Whaaa?! I even asked him to say it again. And I have no idea where he would get that…Unless he’s been talking to my neighbor Alfredo. ;)

Well, I’ve always said at this age pre-school is more for socialization than academics. I guess he’s getting an education one way or another!

A Snowy Stay in Idyllwild With A Crazy Three Year Old

It's funny, everyone told me that 3 years old is more difficult than 2 years old. And I thought, that can't possibly be. Two was hard. But Three is turning out to have it's own special challenges.

Miles is really asserting his independence and his desire to make his own decisions about what to wear, where to go or not go, when and what to eat, etc. We try to give him choice but usually he wants something outside of what is reasonable and healthy. We're really having to choose our battles.

Like with the snow suit today. I wanted to go for another hike in Humber Park and when we had gone the day before, Miles was is more casual play clothes and froze his butt off. So I decided to assert that he would wear the snow suit we borrowed for him so he would be comfortable in the snow. He was not having it. We're back to feeling like he needs to do what we say because we said so- and trying to decide if it's worth it. In the end we did give in and he wore his regular snow clothes, but we didn't go on our hike. In fact, after a short time of playing outside we put him in the car to go on our hike and he peed his pants. Which almost never happens anymore. So we had to bring him out to change him and he completely refused to put his pants on at all. Seriously, unable to force the pants on him without hurting him or ourselves.


So, we went home instead of our hike, pants-less. It's just insane. The intense emotions and tantrums that overshadow his normal personality. I think he's going through a growing spurt or something though. He naps about every other day. Completely unpredictable. I'm trying to encourage him to wean. There's a lot of change going on for him right now.

Toddler Led Weaning

1/5/09: Today Miles woke up asking if it was okay to have numnums. I said sure. He nursed for a second and then wanted to switch sides. (we aren’t nursing much at all these days). He stopped nursing on the other side and I asked if there was any milk in there. He said no. He said he was going to go “to outer space in a rocket ship and fill his big boy boobies with milk and my big girl boobies with milk.” I’m sorry, but how cute is that!? This toddler led weaning has some benefits. I love knowing what he is thinking!

The picture is from our recent trip to my Dad's in Lodi.