I switched from UCSD Midwives to Best Start because I was woo’d by the Bed and Breakfast, boutique feel of Best Start. Also, I really wanted the opportunity to labor and deliver in water and Best Start has beautiful tubs for water birth.
When I first visited Best Start I was told not to worry about money or insurance. That turned out to not be true- kind of. My 3rd visit there I was handed a bill for “pre-payment” of the birth. They had called my insurance and discovered we have a deductible and wanted me to pay it up front to the sum of approximately $2400.00. I had to make many stressful phone calls to my insurance, to Bonnie in billing at Best Start, and to my husband’s work to get it all straightened out. I was really uncomfortable with paying for services not yet rendered. In the end I didn’t make any payments. Thankfully.
I had a couple visits with Midwife Ruth, who is all business. She comes in, seems nervous, measures you and listens to the heartbeat without any conversation and fuss and is out of the room before you can think of your questions. Visits with Ruth were under 15 minutes from the time you walked in the front door.
Then I saw Susan, the head Midwife. She is very motherly and always has a big smile on her face. She seemed to be the most relaxed and confident midwife I met with. Unfortunately, she was the one monitoring my blood glucose levels and she knows next to nothing about diet and carbs. At one visit she saw an elevated value on my sheet and saw I had a cup of chili with cheese and sour cream. She commented that cheese and sour cream would elevate my blood sugar when actually, those things are virtually carb free and I’m sure it was the beans in the chili that elevated my blood sugar. I also had been faxing my blood values to her once a week for several weeks and never heard a word about them until I was about 37 weeks. Then suddenly, I was scrutinized and calculated every time I walked in the door. They were suddenly very concerned about my values being abnormal, although I was completely in their own range of normal. They had a very punitive and negative attitude about it. Very black and white. I would explain why a fasting value was inaccurate and they would count it anyway. It made no sense. They also suddenly changed the values by which I should be testing against from 130 an hour after a meal to 120. They enlisted a new dietitian midwife who seemed to understand things, but I only had a phone interview with her- and she apparently didn’t note our conversation because when I went back in for my appointment I would get the same scrutiny with the calculator from a midwife who wasn’t trained in this area…It was the classic case of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing and it put me on the defensive at each stressful appointment.
Then I met midwife Brook. She was very conservative and negative. She would make comments about how “this is exactly what we don’t want to see” when reviewing my ultrasound- before she knew that it was all within normal. It was as if they were searching for a reason to risk me out. She told me the head to tummy ratio was borderline and my amniotic fluid levels were too high. She said my baby was 8 pounds and she thought a “big baby was better born early” and offered to “stimulate my cervix” which I had to ask, actually meant she wanted to strip my membranes at the beginning of 38 weeks. I almost let her but we managed to walk out of there intact. Scared, but intact.
My next appointment was with midwife Ashley. She is really sweet and informative but unfortunately just as scared and uncomfortable with Gestational Diabetes as the rest of the midwives were. She told me that my amniotic fluid was potentially at dangerous levels and if my water broke that the cord could slip out with the fluid resulting in a prolapsed cord. She told me this and then sent me home telling me she was going to do a phone consult with an OB at UCSD to see what the protocol was for something like that. She said the earliest she would call me was the next afternoon. Needless to say, I went home thinking that at any minute my baby was going to die because of too much fluid. I was paranoid that my water would break and I would have to call 911.
After a long and very sleepless night my husband and I decided to go pull our records from Best Start and go back to UCSD where I wouldn’t be such an anomaly. When I called Ashley the next day to give her a heads up we were coming, she was very concerned and sweet and felt bad that I had worried, etc. She told me the Doctors at UCSD would want to induce me at 39 weeks because of the gestational diabetes. So, I worried about that needlessly until I finally met with the OBs at UCSD.
The staff at UCSD are experts in all births and pregnancy not just the “perfect” ones. It turns out that my amniotic fluid is on the high end of normal, and not a concern at all to UCSD. According to UCSD I am controlling my glucose levels well, with diet alone. According to UCSD, no one really looks at the ratio of head to shoulder anymore as it proves not to make a difference in studies. All my abnormalities at Best Start were perfectly normal at UCSD. In fact, the OB told me as of that visit there was no reason I shouldn’t be seeing the midwives at UCSD if I wanted to. AND they wouldn’t induce me until 41 weeks (not 39) because everything was going well. Wow. What a difference.
I finally didn’t feel like I needed to prove myself or be risked out last minute. We had another ultrasound today to see Ivy’s size and she is big. Somewhere around 9 pounds is their guess. So ultimately I may be with an OB and not a midwife. But as long as I’m in the capable hands of UCSD staff, I know I’ll be fine. They are confident, secure, relaxed, medical professionals and I know they will also honor my wishes for a natural birth as much as is safe and possible. I haven’t met anyone at UCSD that I was uncomfortable with yet.
So, I’m glad I switched to Best Start and back, because had I not, I would have always wondered if I was just too chicken to have a “home birth” experience. But I am so relieved and happy to be birthing at UCSD.
I’m now 39.5 weeks. I’ll be 40 weeks on Tuesday November 16th. I have another midwife appointment on Tuesday, so we’ll see what the verdict is on induction vs. waiting and birth center vs. labor and delivery. At this point I am totally open to whatever comes. I know I can make any environment a safe and comfortable one since I am armed with Hypnobirthing skills and knowledge of what I want and don’t want. If things become medically necessary, then I can re-evaluate my situation as it occurs.
It’s all been a big lesson in living in the moment and not wasting my worry on things that have not yet happened.
I’m super excited to finally have Ivy in my arms and I know it’s going to be soon- maybe tonight? But definitely before Thanksgiving. I’ll be thankful to not be pregnant any more! I can’t wait until all this seems like a meaningless blip in a long journey to a healthy baby and welcome addition to our family.
I included a sweet picture from last night of Miles roasting marshmallows in our backyard. We are so lucky to have such a sweet and loving boy.
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