Life outside

4/30/08: We have a multitude of bugs this year. Grasshoppers are huge in our yard. I’m hoping they’ll attract more birds. A tasty treat! This guy was sunning himself on the cloth diapers that were drying in the sun.

Leap and the net will appeaar.

4-26-08: I met with a friend yesterday to discuss a possible business opportunity that would enable me to be a professional artist from home and hopefully make some kind of a living from it in the long run. Along with being a wonderful opportunity for me, I would be able to support her in her endeavor and we, along with the rest of the team she is assembling, would be able to follow our bliss. It’s a wonderful idea and the possibilities are endless. I felt like the universe was opening up. Showing me there is always something brilliant and unforeseen around the corner if you are just open to it. Then is a seemingly innocuous twist of fate I was able to achieve something in yoga this morning that I have never been able to do. In the past I have been unable to execute Camel pose mostly because of fear. It’s a backbend where you are on your knees and you bend back to grab your ankles, opening your chest and spine in the process. I have always been so good at forward bends. Calming, and introspective. But back bends?! I have a fear of hurting my lower back, and a fear of not being strong enough to support myself-falling basically. Do to a wonderful instructor, Mary Jo, at the La Mesa Y this morning we did a ton of preparation for the pose, opening the front of the thighs and the chest. Twisting the spine, breathing. And then we just did it! I felt like it was an amazing metaphor for the business idea and venture, and for life in general. I feel my heart and my chest opening up to the future and to love and life and friends. I am learning to trust that life has a plan and the universe can support you if you are open and positive to it. Okay, so some of you must be thinking that I am crazy, or worse, irresponsible. I’m not saying that you have to sit around and wait for things to happen to you. I am saying that with openness in your life and mind you can see opportunities that may not otherwise be seen. And you can seize them! I want to teach my son that anything is possible. That he can dream it, he can do it. I want to live by example. I think this will be my year.

Craft Crazy

4/24/08: Life is swinging along at the Kwasny house. Miles is walking exclusively now- and I think having a major growth spurt. He is eating like crazy. Seems to be starving after a couple hours. And sleeping a lot- or not sleeping. I guess it’s all normal. We are waiting for the talking to start. Right now he has sounds that he makes, and I know what they mean, but they aren’t real words. He seems to say “Duck” pretty reliably. But I think that’s just the easiest sound for him to make. We have been bike riding quite a bit lately. And I have been a crochet maniac.
I even finished a painting recently!

I wish I could take some good pictures but I broke my camera. So I’ll post what I have.


We went to Manhattan Beach for a night with some friends. That was fun…Let’s see- what else. Oh! Miles choked today for the first time. Scared me to death. He finally cleared a monster piece of cheese. Take bites Miles! Bites! He likes to shove the whole thing in his mouth. Maybe this will teach him.

We get together with friends a couple times a week. Not really organized playgroups so much any more as splinter groups. It’s so nice to be making some really good friends at this stage of the game. I hope Miles can hang on to some of these friendships too. It’s a rare treat to grow up with someone. I will always have Aimee- I wonder who his “Aimee” will be. People move so much these days, and in this sad state of economy, who knows where we will all end up. Hopefully here- (but as long as I’m with my man and child- I’m home)

Walking, signing, and crochet

4/3/08: Miles is really walking well now. He free stands and walks catches his balance and keeps on going. We went to the Quail botanical gardens the other day and he loved the bamboo forest. He could swing from post to post and not fall. He had the time of his life.


He is better and better at expressing himself now too. He hasn’t picked up any more sign. I should do a “sign of the day” and sign it all day long and see if that would help. He gets frustrated and signs “more” for everything. It’s his way of saying, ”Hey, I have something to communicate!” The rest is up to me to decipher. So he needs some more sign for sure.

I finished my crochet pig. I’m very proud of him too. Miles isn’t really into playing with stuffed animals right now, but I think he’ll like him in the future. Otherwise, he’ll become room decoration. I started a lion for my next project. I am definitely a hooker now! Ha!

Mindy's last day

3/31/08: Our Mindy dog passed away on Saturday. She had been doing poorly since we started treatment for Cushing’s Disease. I had felt it coming. The vet couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but she stopped eating. I think she decided it was her time and just refused to let us save her.

We brought her home just before Christmas over 2 years ago to be a friend to our older dog Andy. She was so sweet and smart and full of energy and loving. She taught me a lot about dogs, since she was so opposite of Andy. She was a thinker and was eager to please. When we got her from the Human Society they told us she needed to lose at least 5 pounds. But when she was sick she lost that and it was clear that she was really a big boned Min Pin. She was 20 pounds when she was healthy- which is large for her breed. She loved to go on walks and go in the car, she was so excited by car rides that she would be destructive and had to be contained. Best of all she was really patient and loving with Miles. He would pat her a little too hard and she would just lay there and let him- or when she had enough she would move out of his reach. She used to sneak into our bed and burrow all the way under the covers so we wouldn’t know she was there. Sneaky.

Anyway- she was so sweet and she will be missed. We took her to dog beach on her last day with us. She fell asleep when we got home and didn’t wake up again. I think she was so tired. I’m glad she had a peaceful and restful last day with us (not at the hospital). Here’s a picture of her snuggling with me on the beach on her last day. Andydog seems to be taking it well. But he’s never been the brightest crayon in the box, so he might just think she’s at the groomer or something. Ignorance is bliss. Miles turned the garden gnome on its side and put dirt on it while we were burying her. That’s interesting.

Happy Easter!

3/25/08:
Happy Easter! Although it’s already over- I’ll always remember this Easter since it’s when Miles really started walking. He’s suddenly standing up from a squat and taking 6-7 steps at a time. Of course he falls a lot- glad those cloth diapers cushion his fall so well.

We’ve been working hard on the front yard just about every day- trying to get it ready for planting. This has been a huge undertaking for us as the weeds were knee high after all the rain we had this year. My girlfriends have been offering their time and pulling weeds with their babies too. It looks like babies are growing from the garden when they are over. Of course I pay them with margarita time in our already finished backyard.

Mindy dog is doing better, I think. She is eating some- although with some nasty results at times. I think she’s going to pull through- although I often wish she would just get better or worse so we could make some informed decisions about her future. I guess that’s horrible to say, but I am REALLY tired of cleaning up after her. No one can blame me for that.

Well, we're off to finish pulling weeds so we can start planting! Hurray!

Walking and Cleaning

Miles has started walking a little and I'm trying to get the house ready for the appraisal- cleaning like mad and finishing details like touching up the interior paint etc to try to spiff up the place.

We took Miles to a St Patty's day parade and festival in Balboa Park- we had a blast and Miles was in awe looking at everyone and everything. You know how people wear crazy green hats and stuff, so it was entertaining.

Other than that, just stressing about the loan and trying to keep Miles busy. He's moving to one nap a day so we are messing with his schedule and still messing with the sleeping arrangement. I'm not getting much sleep so I have a headache and have been feeling kinda sick and grumpy. We need to do something else- I think he'll be coming back into our room with us- We're going to take our bed off the frame and put the mattress on the floor with a baby gate around it. If you can believe it. I know it seems stupid- but I think it makes more sense. Right now I'm getting up at 12 am after sleeping for only 2 hours and spending the rest of the night cramped in the twin. He is waking a lot right now and in the twin I can't put any distance between us- so we wake each other up. I'm even thinking of putting the crib mattress on the floor next to our bed and having him sleep there- then he can come find us in the night if he wakes up. I don't know- this is just hard.

Also Mindy is sick- the medication made her stop eating and we've spent about 500$ of money we don't have so far just on tests and meds. The Vet told me to bring her in yesterday to get IV fluids and I told him I can't afford it so they did it free of charge. But I can't keep expecting that. I fed her a potato this morning which she ate- she's not even eating her food if I put chicken broth on it. She shakes all the time and has been throwing up bile. Poor baby. He talked about putting her in the pet hospital on an IV. I think we will have to have her put down. I am waiting for as long as I can though. Yesterday when I was painting a wall that she had badly damaged, I was wondering if she would have the opportunity to scratch it up again or not. So sad.

This was kinda complain-y- Oh well.

A revealing little game.

3/11/08: So I’m not sure how this works, but I was tagged- So Erika at http://senwlong.blogspot.com/ Married with Children Tagged me. I’m coping this from her post, “I'm going to play the game! Here are the rules, per luci, who got them via veganmomma:Rules:Link to your tagger and post these rules.Share 5 facts about yourself.Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.” I’m not sure I know 5 people with blogs that will want to play, but I’ll do it and hope they think it’s fun too. Here are my 5 things.

1. Although I seem somewhat outgoing, I’m actually pretty shy and have some difficulty joining new groups- although I seem to do it all the time.
2. I think being a Mom is the bees knees and being a stay home mom is even better. I love my life with Miles and Keith and wouldn’t change it, or go back to a paying job for the world. (at this time, and unless I have to).
3. I am trying my hardest to be creative even though actually painting right now is really difficult with a short napping toddler. That’s why I’ve picked up crochet. It’s something I can do to feel creative and productive, without leaving the family to lock myself in my studio. Although, that said I have a couple paintings in mind and I’m itching to do them! Anyone want to babysit?
4. I used to battle with my weight constantly. Dieting and yo yoing. Now I feel pretty good about my amazing milk making, baby producing body and I overlook the things that I used to think needed work. My whole focus is on being healthy, listening to my body and trying to eat foods that I feel good sharing with Miles.
5. Keith and I will have been together for 9 years this St. Patrick’s Day. The best 9 years of my life for sure.

Okay so that’s it. Not sure who I’ll tag. But I’ll see if maybe I can come up with some blogs that I’ve visited. I'll have to do this more- later- Miles needs some attention!
http://vikingjenn.blogspot.com/

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

3/2/08: Big day for us! Miles signed a few words to me today. He said “more, eat” and “finished” I think he has been saying these things for a week or so but I was misinterpreting them. This time it was clear because I signed it right before him and he copied me. So I’m going to try signing more and more with him now. I knew once he could clap that he might have the dexterity to sign more. Now I know for sure. He is also taking a few steps to me. He did it again this morning. It’s kinda a step, step, lunge. So far he hasn’t done it on his own, just in between furniture or if he is at the couch and I’m nearby.

We are going up to see my Dad this Friday. It’ll be our first family plane trip. Miles is so easy going and easily distracted that I am hopeful it will go well. I can always nurse him too- which is his favorite thing to do in unsure situations. It’ll be nice to get away as a family since Keith has been working so much. Hopefully Dad wont put us to work when we get there!

I also finally finished Miles' new crochet mouse. I think he's super crochet cute!

The sleep saga continues

2/20/08: So the crib thing didn’t work. We tried it on for a week, but Miles never took for it. I know some of you are thinking that I may not have tried hard enough. But I know my baby, and he was having none of it After too many missed afternoon naps, and after sleeping in the nursery with him for a week, I’m trying plan B. I took apart the crib and put it in the garage for now. I took the legs off the twin and put it on the floor. I removed the curtains (which hung over the bed) I removed all electronics except the fan and the monitor and put plugs in all the sockets. And I put a bed rail on the twin and pillows all over the floor around the bed. He’s sleeping in there by himself for the first time right now. Before, I couldn’t get him to sleep in the afternoon because he would wake when I put him down. So this way I can lay with him and nurse him and then sneak out when he falls asleep. I don’t have to worry about him falling of the bed if I don’t get to him fast enough when he wakes. And maybe I can still reclaim my bedroom. We’ll see how this goes. I have high hopes.

Other than that not much is new. Miles is still very close to taking those elusive first steps. Today he sucked water through a straw for the first time. And that’s about all the news I have.

I finished my first crochet project. It’s a simple pirate monster. Miles seems to like it. It’s far from perfect, but not bad for my first project.

Playing Catch Up

2/15/08: There has been a ton going on lately and Miles is a handful these days so it’s hard for me to write as much as I wish. I can hardly keep up with my email (or the laundry, toy mess, cleaning, etc).

We have a measles “outbreak” in San Diego. I don’t know if I would call 6 or so children an outbreak… Miles has not yet been vaccinated with the MMR vaccine. I lean toward the side that says vaccines do more harm than good in some cases. I am waiting on the MMR until our doctor can order them separate. I want to separate them and then space them them out and start them when he's a little older, like two years old. Then I think his body might be able to better handle the vaccines. He was fully vaccinated up to a year, then I started saying no. Our doctor is pretty cool about it- she will order the MMR separate as soon as the vaccine manufacturer is caught up (I guess they are behind, since so many moms are now demanding them separate). These are the toughest issues I think we are faced with. All a mom wants to do is protect their kid. But with big pharmaceutical money behind everything, it's hard to get accurate information with which to make these decisions. It's hard to be balanced, and not paranoid.

Another issue we are living with is co-sleeping transition. I have been napping Miles in his crib with mixed success, and he's starting his evenings in there too! We are doing a very gentle approach of nursing, bouncing and rocking to sleep then putting him down. He wakes up sad- which breaks my heart, (I run in as soon as he wakes)but I think there's an adaptation period. I think this is safer for the time being. Otherwise we've had too many middle of the night exploration sessions on our bed, which are too hard for me to stay wake for to keep him safe. Right now I'm sleeping on the twin in the nursery and when he wakes up at night I bring him into bed with me. This is one of the transitions that Dr Sears recommends. I'm hopeful that as time goes by he'll sleep longer and longer in there so I can make a switch back to my own room. Wish me luck- this is a HUGE step for us. I really do think it’s time. I love sleeping and snuggling with him- but it gets tough when you wake up with his feet in your face or him crawling toward the end of the bed, where there’s drop that he doesn’t understand yet.

Other than that Miles is growing so fast! Every day he does something new. Yesterday it was clap, the day before- wave. He feeds himself, brushes his teeth (although we help him with that after he’s had a try) Brushes his hair, and mine. He’s the funniest, sweetest, most social boy ever. He loves to explore and is very independent. He loves the outdoors, and water- the beach especially, even when it’s as cold as it has been. We are starting a veggie garden in paper sacks in the house. I put them out in the sun during the day and bring them in at night so the frost won’t kill them. I think Miles will have so much fun with the picking of the fruit and veggies this spring and summer.



The other day at one of our playgroups a Mom said Miles’ always looks like he has a funny joke to tell you. It does look sometimes like he is suppressing a smile. That boy is always smiling.

Random Stuff

1/06/08: Miles has figured out how to turn the pages of a board book- and open cabinets and drawers! His whole world just got more dangerous and messy. We have some baby proofing to do. I bet he’ll be walking or at least standing on his own, right around his birthday. Keith bets later, but he’s already standing on his own for seconds at a time and pushing his toys and the ottoman around the living room to get around. It’s fast approaching! He’s also talking more. We think he says, “up, mama, dada, and ball” with some regularity. I know he understands numnums, milk, water, and diaper change. I’m sure he understands much more than that even.

He had his first bloody fall on the playground the other day. Too sad! I guess it’s the first of many to come.

I’m sick, but we went to La Jolla this morning anyway for breakfast burritos on the beach. It was so fun to go out in the cold and rain and see the huge surf. Then we went over to the museum of Contemporary Art to see the sound waves exhibit. After that I was pooped and came home to nap and cough in private. Miles is still sleeping and it’s getting late, but I’m letting him sleep just in case he’s fighting off this cold that I have.

The Day After Christmas

12/26/07: It’s the day after Miles’ first Christmas. I think he had a blast. It was presents and more presents and eating and fun and parties and he just loved it. In fact last night was the first night (that I can remember) that he (and I!) actually slept all the way through the night! He fell asleep in the car on the way home from Ganny’s house and then stayed asleep when we arrived home. The first time he woke after I went to sleep was at about 5:30 am. When I rolled over to look at the clock I was amazed and so relieved! He nursed and we both fell immediately back to sleep until 7am. I don’t think I’ve slept more than 3 hours in a row in months. Try 11 months. So hopefully this will be a new thing. I love sleeping. I really do.

Today on the day after Christmas, we went to the beach in Coronado. It was beautiful, sunny and cool. Miles and I walked for a while (he was in the Ergo) and he slept. When he woke up we made our way back to plop in the sand and get good and dirty. Miles cawed at the Seagulls and gawked at the young surfers. Mostly he played in the sand, amazed that he couldn’t keep it in his grasp. If you’ve read this blog, then you know at times I get totally blissed out on this life and how amazing our world is. Today was one of those days. Miles and I are so lucky to have each other to explore the beach, the park, or the living room. I’m just so glad it gets to be me raising him and not a stranger.



After the beach we met Daddy for lunch and ordered Miles’ his very own meal. Grilled cheese Sandwich. He ate an entire half. Now we just need to work on getting those veggies and fruits on his menu. Right now he’s all about the bread and cheese.

I took a bazillion pictures of him on the beach so I’ll post a favorite or two.

Miles said "Ma ma"!

12/18/07:
Miles is 11 months old now. He is doing really well with eating “real” food now, crawling and babbling. In fact today he said “Mama” to me when I came to pick him up from the gym day care! I was so excited! It’s the first time he seemed to say it to me, instead of just babble. He never babbles mama unless it’s sad talk. This time he looked up at me and said “Ma ma!” We’ve been practicing it with him the last few days, really encouraging him to say words, so I’m not toooo surprised. But the thrill is the same nonetheless. Christmas is fast approaching. Miles got to open some presents the other night that some friends gave him. He had fun ripping the paper and playing with the boxes, just as we suspected. I can’t wait to see him on Christmas morning though! Family is supposed to come here at around 9am so we’ll have to finagle a nap in there some how. We are having a lean Christmas, meaning light on the presents, this year, but it was fun shopping, knowing whatever gift I got, needed to be good, since it’s all they’re getting.
Miles met Santa- He did very well considering he does have some stranger danger. You can see it on his face. He’s a little uncertain, but was somewhat reassured by all our antics trying to get him to smile. I’ll post the picture.

New beginings and new Challenges

Miles is giving me a run for my money with his new found abilities. I find I am really having to step up my game. He needs constant attention now in a completely different way. He wants me to play with him and help him stand and walk all the time. He is crawling and getting into everything he shouldn't (drawers, wires, etc) We need to be better babyproofers. But right now, I just redirect and redirect and distract and redirect. It's a little exhausting. Combined with the not sleeping thing. Miles is teething again and is having trouble sleeping. He wants to nurse ALL NIGHT long, which leaves me tired and sore. He was up from 11:30pm to 1am this morning before I got up and gave him some Motrin and turned on the humidifier. Poor guy, he is a trooper though. We spend the days playing and going through the routine, Up, change, eat, play, nap, up, change, eat, play (or go out) nap, Up, eat, bath, play, night time. Sound exciting to you? It's fun actually and we go out a lot, to play groups and shopping, errands, whatever. Today we are meeting a friend for lunch and then going to a sign language class. We need to go to the store too, and he's napping right now. He's been napping well, at least! We have yoga on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the gym at 8- so that fits in nicely. We have a playgroup on Mondays and Tuesdays, there's a walking group, but it conflicts with my other activities. When he naps I do email, clean, craft, paint, or whatever.

It's the best life. It can be a little isolating, if you don't make an effort to get out. And I really wish I had some real friends that have babies or kids. I am working on it though. I just joined a new group that will hopefully have some more like minded mamas out there. Not that I need someone just like me, but the older Miles gets the more I feel like a black sheep in my group and I think it's important to find some people who support, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, green cleaning, organic, etc...

Cute ticker

10 Months old and on the go!

11/15/07

Miles is 10 months old today! He has been eating- He will really only eat sweet potato and chicken jar baby food. Not my homemade stuff. So he's been not eating as much since I ran out- Need to go get more. He also had a very severe diaper rash (triple paste works the best- by the way) That was bloody and raw- so we held off on anything too flavorful for a few days.

AND he is starting to FINALLY crawl! He really gets around. It's a combo of shuffling on his butt- then dropping and rolling and dragging himself. Every once and a while he will get on all fours and rock- which is how he is "supposed to" learn. But mostly he is paving his own road to freedom. So he is officially into everything he can get his hands on. He’ll find the smallest piece of whatever on the floor and pick it up and inspect it. I have my work cut out for me. In a way it's easier because he's more independent, and in a way it's harder, because he's more independent.

But now that he’s getting around. Since his sudden new freedom, it’s like he can’t stop. He has had trouble napping/sleeping. It’s like he’s a wind up toy that won’t wind down. He lays facing me and latches on then twists his bottom half so his knees are down on the bed and hoists his booty into the air and tries to nurse and crawl at the same time. I’m like, “Hey there buddy, can’t take it with you.” It takes him twice as long to fall asleep, even when he’s sooooo tired, than it did a week ago. While he gets all this exercise, I am getting exercise in patience. Here's a picture of my new painting of him.

Where did October go?

11/5/07:
October was a whirlwind of craziness. Between having mastitis, Keith being sick and then our world catching on fire-then party, party, party for Halloween…Whew! I’m glad that month is over. Miles had a great time at the pumpkin patch, riding the huge pumpkins. He had the opportunity to wear his dragon costume several times to various parties and activities. He always steals the show with his good nature and laughing smile.


On a personal note, some friends found a huge, beautiful, old, painting easel in an alley by some dumpsters and nabbed it for me! We are busy making a place for this gorgeous piece of furniture. I can’t wait to initiate it into my studio. Oh, I have that painting itch for sure now! What a sign!

New Discoveries

9/26/07:
Keith came home last weekend and we tried to cram as much fun in as we possibly could. We hit up a cloth diaper garage sale- and I got the fuzzy bunz of my dreams for cheap! Now cloth diapering is finally (almost) easy! We also hit up the Stone brewery for a little lunch and a tour…and then over to the Carousel at Sea Port Village. Miles shook with excitement for the entire ride. I started him on a horse that didn’t move, but then upgraded him to a horse that moved up and down. It’s hard to express his reaction- he wasn’t laughing or smiling really, he seemed more amazed. His entire body would shake and he would exclaim, “Booh! Baah!” periodically. These were noises I hadn’t heard before- so clearly he was reaching deep to express himself.

It’s so fun to watch him have a new experience. Whether it’s the merry go round, or the Koi fish pond- we always have a great time exploring this new world.

Bliss

9/18/07:
There are some amazing days where I get caught up in the moment, forget about all time and just relish in my life. I feel my soul swell and overflow with such pure happiness it overwhelms me. Sitting in the grass in front of the La Jolla Community center- on a whim- no-where to be. We plop down and feel the grass against our skin. Miles pushes his feet into the grass, wiggling toes searching for the underlying dirt. There’s a voyeur seagull at a safe distance- waiting for us to break out something edible. And we do, but it’s for Miles only. I pull him close to me, his hand floats up and gently touches my nose and mouth, before clawing open my lips to play with my teeth. He sucks hungrily and happily, talking with his mouth full and smiling a drippy milk smile. We linger in the shade for a while until, full of milk, Miles eyes get heavy and he rubs his face with the back of his hand, yearning for a little mid-day nap.