Better Today

July 30, 2006 Sunday evening 8:47 pm
I have been feeling better- the weather has cooled off, even rained a bit. Coincidence? Probably not. I think I feel the baby moving around at night but it really is hard to tell. Exciting though. I am not in my 15th week a little more than a third of the way through. I bought a scrap booking album today and I intend to get started. This little blog will make an appearance for sure. I think I will make this into a paper version. With more intimate photos. I can add the baby pics and tummy pics that I wont publish otherwise.

I’m not looking forward to work tomorrow, or the next day for that matter. But what has to be done has to be done. What seems important now will soon take on such different meaning.

Sleeping beauty?

July 29, 2006 Saturday morning 7:15am
I woke up to rain. Finally! The sky has been so heavy, putrid, HOT. It finally cracked open. All the green (and brown) outside are singing. Reaching for the clouds. I went out with some string and twine and tied up the tomato plants. Found some old scissors and cut off some of the crunchy brown. The Basil unsalvageable. My poor yard! Usually I spend much more time with my hands in the earth. Although looking at the backyard on any given day, you might not be able to tell. I love digging and planting and eating what I’ve grown. There’s so much satisfaction in that. I have been so tired the past few months with the heat and humidity making things close to unbearable. Last night I fell asleep at 7pm. On Friday. My poor husband. But I needed it. I woke up at 6:15 this morning ready to greet the day! So it’s 7:20 and I feel my old self, already productive somewhat, in the yard. I’m wearing on of Keith’s old black A shirts, covered in paint stains. Damp from the mist and rain. My feet are still covered with old grass clippings. I really shouldn’t be tromping about the house this way. But I think I’ll make myself a good breakfast and set to cleaning up this place while I still feel so good. You never know when you suddenly will feel struck and need to lie down.

Baby Pictures-13 weeks!

July 23rd, 2006 8:05 Am
I am finally posting the baby pictures from out last hospital visit. I wrote little explanations on the pictures so hopefully you can figure it out. The baby is too big (how exciting!) to get him/her all in one shot, so there are two pictures, one is a good picture of the body the other is of the head.



It has been incredibly hot. So hot that it’s making me sick. We have been looking for a little air conditioner for the bedroom but it appears all of San Diego is sold out. Bad planning on our part. Yesterday it was 110 degrees in La Mesa. Now that’s just ridiculous.

I am really starting to show now- I should get a picture of my belly soon. Kind of been putting that off! But really it exciting to actually look pregnant. This is the first week of my second trimester. I am really excited to start the second trimester. I expect to be greeted with more normal emotions and bucket loads of energy. I’ll let you know how reality meets my expectations.

Movin' and shakin'

July 18, 2006 Tuesday 8:01 am
We went to the Doctor yesterday and everything is going great! My blood work came back fine and blood pressure is normal. The baby is now the size of a tennis ball and we say her/him move around and could see the heart beat. It was amazing! Thrilling! Keith and I are so excited now for this new little baby- it gets more real and real. I laid in bed this morning and daydreamed about where the crib will go and what decorations we will have. I want to start buying diapers now, although I believe I will use a diaper service- maybe not. I have some research to do. Anyone have any input on diaper services?

I have a new picture to of the baby to post, but I left it at work- I’ll do it tonight.

It's too Damn HOT!

July 16, 2006 Sunday 8:15 am
It has been so hot! It’s the kind of heat where you wake up in the night sticking to the sheets and sweating on your pillow. It may be time for an air conditioner. At least for our bedroom. It’s nice that I am due in January, so I wont be too big in the heat of summer. As I sit here typing, I’m sweating- and I have a fan in my face. When you’re pregnant your body temperature runs higher naturally, so it’s a double whammy.

I got my hair dyed at a salon yesterday. I know that’s controversial. I decided it would make me feel better all around to have nice hair. My hair was dull brown with a lot of grey. Now it’s black with cherry red streaks. That big chunk of grey in the front? Now cherry red. I was assured by the salon that they all had their hair colored during their pregnancies and they color pregnant woman’s hair all the time. I am secretly worried that my Doctor will yell at me tomorrow. We have the second doctor’s appointment tomorrow. We are pretty excited. Keith is hoping we’ll get to see the sex- But I think we have to wait until like 18-20 weeks for that. I am hoping to hear the heart beat.

Room Service Please!

July 12, 2006 Wednesday 8:34 pm
Wow, I haven’t written anything in a long time. We have been busy getting ready for Doris’ arrival- and now she is here! Whew!

I feel like I have gained weight like a madwoman. I guess I should talk to my doctor about it on Monday. I need to start an exercise regimen and stick to it. I feel pretty embarrassed about the gain. However I am conflicted too. I try to let things just go with the flow. But when you are pregnant, people freely to judge you; what I eat, drink and look like are all open to criticism. Also the gain has been bad for me all over, my ankles hurt, I get winded going up stairs, and I’m uncomfortable in my own skin.

It’s all for a good cause though. I can’t wait to hold our baby! I will have plenty of time to take off any excess weight after the baby is born. And I know I will. Right now I am just host to a wonderful guest, who is using my body as a 5 star hotel. When s/he orders room service, who am I to say no? Maybe that’s the problem!

The fun has just begun

July4th 2006. 1:30pm
I have been really busy working and trying to pull the guest room together for Doris’ stay here. Every day I think I need to blog, but then something comes up. We are going to a barbeque later today at Judy and Ted’s. Another drinking holiday. You don’t realize how much drinking goes on until you have to quit. Sad how much I miss it. I wish I didn’t have the taste for it.

I made Keith stay home instead of going out with his friends to PB and now I feel like a bitch. I guess I didn’t make him, he has free will. But I don’t like the idea of him going to PB with the guys on a drinking holiday. I have no faith that he would be home safe and on time in order for us to go to the Mackay’s. And I know everyone would be sad if he wasn’t there. (although I’m sure his friends are sad too) He is dreading his upcoming birthday and lamenting about getting older. Crying about not spending time with his friends and having to work all the time. In the back of my mind, I’m like, “oh boy, you have no idea what we’re in for.” I don’t think it has set in yet for him what it’s really going to be like to have a newborn. The longer I am pregnant the more I think it’s too bad that men have no idea. Could not have any idea, what it’s like for the woman who is pregnant.

This is kind of a negative blog entry, isn’t it? I have been fighting morning sickness every afternoon, and I am grouchy, stressed and over tired. I have crazy dreams every night and my sleep is either interrupted by having to pee or the dogs tap dancing around on the hard wood floor. I need to relax.

30 going on 13.

June 28, 2006 Wednesday- My birthday!
I had a great day today! I couldn’t wish for any better off an internet chain email (send this to 10 people and your wish will come true). Short recap of the day. Breakfast in an Ocean Beach waterfront restaurant. Quick antiquing down the main drag. Bought the baby a really cute knit hat with trains on it (Dad would approve). Bought me some ninja shoes from a hippie store. Then we went on a shopping spree at a Motherhood store and practically bought a new wardrobe so I can get dressed for work without crying (hopefully). We went home for a sec and regrouped then off to Sears and Sleepyheads looking for a twin mattress for Mom in laws stay with us. Didn’t buy anything though. I actually showed restraint. Then we went home, showered, I put on my new prego dress illustrated in the above picture and we went to our favorite local Italian restaurant, Tiramisu. We had a fabulous meal and now I am sitting fat and happy tapping away to tell you all about it.

I am definitely "showing" now. Maternity clothes are good at making you look even more pregnant. Which I guess is better than just thick or worse, fat. I’m still at the stage where no stranger dare ask. And I almost feel the need to explain to strangers that I’m pregnant. Thankfully, I refrain. I felt good all day. Great energy, and mood. I am hoping to go to yoga in the morning and am hoping I will be back to my normal workout routine now. Maybe that’ll help level off my weight gain. It’s tough to excersize when all you want to do is barf and sleep and barf then eat then sleep some more. I swear I just turned 13 not 30.

Dutiful Husband

June 24th 2006 Saturday
I just poured a piping hot cup of decaf Joe and am contemplating the work that should be done today. I really need to clean the house and I should do it now before it gets hot and I get tired. Waaah. Keith is in there over sleeping and grumpily yelling at the dogs who are trying to get him up (probably by licking his back). He’ll complain later about how his head hurts because he overslept. We are due to hit Hash House A Go-Go (http://www.hashhouseagogo.com/) at 10am to catch up with some friends. We haven’t told them yet that I am pregnant. I don’t like saying, “We are pregnant,” I think that is most certainly false. Although Keith is a loving man, he really can’t know what it’s like and he’s not the one trudging through the afternoon in his cube, with a mouth full of warming saliva and a gut pressing up against his straining pants. So I am pregnant, and he is a dutiful observer. I think he would happily agree.

new floors, popping stomachs and mother in laws.

June 23rd 2006 Friday evening
We just finished installing the new faux wood floor in the baby’s room. I say we, but I mean mostly Keith. It looks pretty great! I think it’ll go well with our pirate-y theme.

Much to my dismay, my stomach has popped out. I’ve tried to suck it in, and hold my breath, giving myself pain and gas. That sucks. I think I’ll stop fighting reality and go with it. I judge myself and say I shouldn’t be showing yet, but who’s to say that? I think my experience is unique and I need to relish in each stage. I’m not going to be this small for long. And it’s undeniable that I am beginning to look pregnant in mid week 9. I should take a picture.

I have been emotional. Let’s say- from tearing up because I think everyone will forget my birthday, to laughing hysterically until I cry and gag over next to nothing. I am basically a raging PMSing 13 year old girl again. I want to sleep and sleep and I don’t want to exercise. Even though I know I need to. We have so much to do before Doris arrives (my mother in law will be staying with us for a month or so) and Keith (my hero) is working himself to the bone at his real job, side jobs and this house. I am learning to accept that we are not perfect and the house will have a life of it’s own. Although, I would kill for a house keeper right now.

First Doctor's Visit

June 19, 2006 Monday
We had our first Doctor’s visit this morning. Keith went with me. The medical building is bland and brown. There is a tiny little waiting room, crammed full of women, pregnant and otherwise. We sat on a loveseat while we waited for awhile, until some more pregnant women came in and there wasn’t enough seating. The wait was long. I was standing and Keith plopped on the floor next to the wall. The women next to me said she had been waiting for hours, so I went up to the grouchy woman hiding behind a tiny window which led to the back office and asked how far they were backed up. We had been there a half hour after our appointed time. She said I was next and shortly after a woman came and took us into a nice little corner office full of diplomas and baby announcements. The woman didn’t introduce herself; in fact she sat us and ran out. We sat there for a few minutes looking around at the native America art and sculptures that were in a cabinet behind us. Finally a nurse came and sat at the large oak desk in front of us and started to ask me questions while inputting my data into the computer. She told us a little background of her and her daughter and her awful cesarean birth experience. It’s then that we learned that the woman who sat us was the Doctor and she had ran over to Grossmont to birth a baby really quick and would be right back.

Our Doctor is a one women show, which explains the wait time. She will be the one at our birth and completing my appointments. She has similar philosophy on birth as I, and a kind and funny demeanor. I liked her. When she returned about 20 minutes after she left, she put me in an exam room and we saw a picture of the baby. S/he’s about 1/2 inch long from crown to rump and looks like Casper the friendly ghost. It’s finally more real now. I was kind of stunned, they just stick a magic wand inside you and wall-la! There’s your tiny peanut! It was fascinating. We got 3 little pictures of our child. No way to tell the sex yet of course. I have an appointment to go back in 4 weeks, July 17th.

Telling your Boss You're Pregnant

June 16, 2006 FRIDAY! Day 40- another week gone by.
My dreams have been hijacked by a baby for sure. I had dreams last night that I was at a festival like Oktoberfest and a friend from high school was pressuring me to have a beer, and at first it was like I forgot I was prego. Then I kind of exclaimed, “I can’t drink beer I’m pregnant!” My dreams are interwoven with baby concerns, almost every night now. Also, I do wake up every night to groggily visit the bathroom. But don’t have any trouble falling back asleep.

I told my boss that I’m pregnant. I know that’s a touchy subject and everyone has an opinion as to where and when you should do this. I took a chance on an opportunity regarding going part time immediately. (which isn’t going to work out) But we did hammer out how the whole thing will work for them and for me up until delivery and leave and when I will come back. When I do return it will be part time and I am starting to look around for infant care, which already brakes my heart. Keith and I are hoping a better way will pop up. We have a lot of time between now and then. It’s really great how much time you have to prepare yourself and your world before the baby really shows up.

Just The Facts

June 14, 2006 Wednesday Day 37 week 8
I feel pretty good. I’ve have been super tired. Took a nap in my car yesterday at lunch and fell asleep watching TV last night at about 9:30. My clothes are starting to get a little tight around the waist. I read that my uterus is now about the size of an orange. I’ll need to go clothes shopping soon, at least to buy a couple pairs of pants/skirts.

I am more and more excited about seeing our baby on Monday. I am really counting down the days/hours. I’ve never been so excited to go to a doctor. I just hope everything is going and growing well. Let’s see, what else, I am hungry all the time and concentrate on getting a good balance of foods, and I have to make a lot of trips to the restroom. I pretty much just drink water now. It’s easier and better for me. Besides all the fancy sodas are expensive and full of chemicals and calories. Not to say I don’t have one now and again...

New Car?!

June 11, 2006 8:45pm Day 34
WE BOUGHT A MOMMY MOBILE TODAY! We joined the rest of the kid toting parents and bought a 2003 Saturn Vue. It’s purdy. And Orange. I’m a little shocked and hope it was a good choice. I fully intend to use my right to trade in within 30 days if I don’t dig it tomorrow. I guess the first thing we bought for this little one is a car. Wow.

We went to go visit Dad. It was a quick, fun and relaxing trip. We went swimming and just hung out. Had a good time. Here’s a picture of me, acting like I’m showing.

Let Them Eat Cake!

June 10th 2006 Saturday 7:15am
We were invited to the neighbor's for dinner last night for a little celebration dinner. They have a baby, Isabella who is about 10 months old, so it was nice to be able to talk about our pregnancy with someone who knows. Blanca made us a cake! And set the table with china, we had some great food and fun conversation. Baby Blanca even screamed her opinion on the subject several times. It felt great to have a night that was created just to celebrate and welcome our little growing baby. I’m glad they felt comfortable being more than “cautiously optimistic”. I even bought a bottle on de-alcoholized wine for me so I could partake in the celebration, (Yes, I called my doctor and asked-It’s little more than grape juice).

Today we are driving up to Borrego Springs to see my Dad. We are going to stay the night and go swimming and golfing and play tennis, if I have the energy. I hope to have a great and relaxing weekend, not worrying or working. I better get packed.

Budda Belly

June 9, 2006 Friday 6:36am
Now, I’m not really worried about looking pregnant, I understand a little baby pirate has commandeered my vessel. That’s great! It’s the fatty, lack of shape, pre-looking pregnant, that I’m going through now. That thick in the middle, not showing- just bloated, maybe I ate too much all day feeling.

I always wanted to be one of those really fit pregnant ladies. You know what I’m talking about the woman who from behind you can’t tell they are even pregnant, and then the turn around and there’s this obscene looking growth beneath their breasts. But I’m not sure it’ll be that way for me. I’ve always had trouble with food and loving to eat. Now for the first time in my life, I am not supposed to diet. Did you hear that! It’s amazing news. I am so concerned about eating the right balance of soy and calcium, veggies and fruit, cheese and bread. I don’t know how to do that within 2000-2300 calories. It’s a new day, wish me luck.

Pirate Baby

June 9, 2006 Friday, 6:12 am
Day 32. I felt pretty normal all day yesterday. Work is picking up and it helps take my mind off things. I walked the dogs in the morning and went to yoga. I told my yoga instructor that I’m pregnant and she gave me a big hug. I hope to be very active in yoga through the whole pregnancy.

I’ve decided to do a fun Caribbean/Pirate theme in the baby’s room. I want to paint a large mural on one side of the room with sand, sea, sky and a pirate ship. I picture a palm tree with bananas and a treasure chest in the sand. I don’t think there will be any actual pirates, maybe a pirate flag somewhere. I think it’ll be bright, cute and a whole lot of fun. Now, I just need to ask the Doctor if I can paint and when. Of course I would like to do this asap. I will have to have Keith paint the room, because of the fumes. I have some research to do.
I love projects.

Coffee Bean

June 7, 2006 Wednesday 9:03pm

Day 30- We’re now in the second lunar month. Every day is more exciting. I wake up in the morning and think, “Hurray!” and run to my book to see what’s happening, like a Christmas countdown calendar (you know the kind, where you pull back the day and get a candy?).

Baby is now the size of a coffee bean, and will continue to double in size as the weeks pass.

I’ve been tired like I’ve never been tired before. I wonder if I tried to exercise more, if that would be help, or if I should rest.

We are slowly telling all of our friends. I still feel a little disbelief myself and worry that we’re going to find out something is wrong or we are mistaken. Logically, I realize how unlikely that is, and reassure myself that babies are born all them time. The odds are in our favor. knock on wood.

Car Sick

June 5th Monday 6:41pm

Back to work…I was nauseous all day, with heartburn and too much saliva. That’s fun. And so tired I could fall asleep at my desk. I weighed and measured myself today and was the same, whew! Actually an inch smaller than last time. That’s a relief. We have our first doctor’s visit 2 weeks from today. I am very excited to hear the heart beat and make sure everything is going as it should.

Today I had a craving for crunchy tacos, which I haven’t had in ages. I stopped by a taco stand by my work, ignoring the salad I brought from home, and indulged in some rolled tacos. They were better than you can imagine.

I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow. I have to go to a student retention seminar in Orange County with a bunch of big wigs. Do you think the carpool will stop to let me go pee every half hour?!

Hot Whale!

I don't have much news to report. The liver is forming today. I feel like a whale and am very afraid to weigh myself. I shouldn't even be showing yet. I'm surprised every time I put something on and it fits- tight-but still, fits.

It should be very hot today but not as hot as yesterday's 90 degrees. I may escape to a movie. Even alone. I've been working on the house nonstop, except for when I'm blogging. So I'm sick of work, and the weekend is almost over. *sigh* The rat race will kill us all.